So, you’ve seen that darn thing growing in the gravel along the road, and you’re thinking, hmm, gotta clean this place up, what will the neighbours think? Stop! Have a cold drink instead! Easy, now. Put that trowel down. Just back away. Eaaassssssy.
…with its sights set on that delicious crack in the road.
This is your medicine chest. This is where you go when the mosquitoes suck your blood and leave the poison in your skin and you just want to scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch until you’ve scratched yourself away into a sculpture of bone and gristle. This is your friend in times of need. Crush a leaf between your fingers until it’s a nice juicy mash, and, don’t be shy now, not between friends like this, and smear it on. Ahhhhhhh, that’s better. Works like a charm. And fast. Doesn’t help West Nile Virus, but that’s not as bad as you might think. The greatest danger is self-immolation from all the darned itchiness, or the temptation to hide inside while the little buggers get out their tin snips and try to cut through the screen. That’s when you turn to plantain. Just call it The Freedom Plant!